john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
