im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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