she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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