I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Randomize
