If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
