She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
