omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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