She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
