i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You pole danced in your parka.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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