So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
