Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
