Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
