he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
