Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
