I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
