that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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