So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
