I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
