she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
That was an excessively violent trivia night
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
