She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
