I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
