Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
