I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Randomize
