im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
barbara walters just said penis...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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