Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
