dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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