My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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