She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
