I didn't shave. On purpose
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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