This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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