It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
