we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
