so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
