Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
