Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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