I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
