No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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