He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
