did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
