You don't have asthma, your pregnant
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Last time i carry you out of a forest
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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