I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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