She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Welp...herpes.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
