I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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