How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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