I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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