weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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