My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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