dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
