i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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