everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
